So here we go, I’ll just introduce myself & what this is all about.
My name is Charlotte, I am in my mid 20s & live with an uncontrollable progressive type of Epilepsy that is leaving several top Epilepsy Specialists very confused. My brain is not responding in the way “normal” Epilepsy brains respond to a variety of things, such as common triggers and medication. Don’t want to delve too much into that side of things (bore the few readers I may have) but basically I’m a unique case.
My consultant recently said to me that he thinks after the next round of tests, other specialists will say they aren’t sure it would be advisable for me to have children as they cannot say how my brain will respond to pregnancy. It could be ok with the extra hormones etc or it could react really badly both towards me and any baby in the womb. My consultant however, has told me to ignore that, to continue living life just like I have been doing for these past 12+ years and if we wanted children think about doing it before we’re told not to. With this in mind my partner and I have decided we are going to try for a baby now. Now you can say what you want to me about this decision but we haven’t just jumped in. Last year we spoke to a Pre-Conception Nurse about what would happen if we wanted babies in the future, we know the risks, we know it may take a bit longer for us to conceive and we know what a big decision this is anyway even without the Epilepsy to deal with! Yes, we have a scary time ahead with more brain tests but the fact is we have a lovely family home, we are very much in love, our wedding is all planned for next year, my partner has a good job (I cannot work due to my Epilepsy) and all in all we know this is the right decision. No idea why I feel the need to justify this decision. I shouldn’t. Funny how we feel the need to justify and defend decisions about our personal lives, even with people we don’t really know.
We haven’t really discussed if we are going to tell people in our so called “Real Lives” that we are planning/trying for a baby. Not because we are ashamed of our decision or that we aren’t 100% certain we are doing the right thing, but feel the added pressure of people knowing and wondering when it will happen etc is not healthy for us. I mean we don’t know if a pregnancy will happen, if it does happen how long it will take before I’m pregnant or if it will be a smooth pregnancy. I’d rather wait until I am pregnant and past the safe point of 3/4 months before we tell anyone. Sure there will be people who will judge us, but it doesn’t matter what they think. That being said I know us and neither of us are very good at keeping things to ourselves. Plus if we do tell family or friends then they will become a support network for us, which I think we will need.
Anyway, I think that’s probably enough for my first blog. I hope to get support/advice from fellow women who are planning/trying for, having or had a baby so please do comment on here or even better follow me on Twitter @HopeEpiMum
Tweet/blog ya soon x