2015 started.

I haven’t blogged since October 2014, it’s now near the end of January 2015. I no longer have any clue what we are doing about IVF, moving house or in fact anything.

We are due back at the fertility consultant in March, this was when we were due to find out if I had lost enough weight to be referred on to start our first IVF cycle. I still have 2st 7lbs to lose. It is so hard to lose weight with Epilepsy and PCOS. I can’t lose that amount of weight in less than 2 months. It’s taken me over 8 months to lose 2st, thanks to not being fully committed all of the time! March is not going to go anything like we planned/thought.

We also wanted to move house before we started IVF as our current house is not in the best of conditions and honestly not in the nicest of areas. Certainly not a house we saw ourselves having a family in. It was supposed to be our interim house, over a year later, we’re still living here and it looks like we will be for a significantly longer amount of time too. We did look at a house but just as we were getting deposit etc sorted it was sniped from under us. We then had a bank meeting this week and found out we have a few credit hiccups meaning we can’t be approved for a loan, thus meaning we can’t move house for at least 3 months whilst we sort these hiccups out.

We started 2015 with a clear idea of what we wanted for this year, now I/we have no idea. Do we leave IVF for this year? With full commitment I could lose the weight I need to in 6 months, which is way past March! Would the fertility consultant even keep us under his care whilst I took another few months to lose weight, despite the fact he gave me a year already? If we put off IVF should we put off moving? I mean we don’t have a choice at the moment the earliest we can move is now June/July anyway. Do we put off moving and IVF completely this year, instead have a chilled year, maybe take an amazing holiday? Though if we wanted a holiday we would need to save or pay it off slowly. I don’t think this year would be as chilled as my husband thinks it would be without moving or IVF. I’m just really stuck.

I wish there was a decision maker. Someone who could tell me what to do. Nothing is straight forward or simple. I never thought 15 months ago this is where we would be. We wanted to start our family, not thinking my Epilepsy would be the cause of yet more problems for us. I want a house that feels like a home, somewhere long term. I want to start our journey to parenthood. I also want a holiday. There are so many variables. 2015 has only just started and already I feel overwhelmed.

Blog/Tweet soon x

Please do feel free to comment on here or tweet me @HopeEpiMum

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One thought on “2015 started.

  1. g2the4thpower says:

    I hear you about the wishing someone would just make the decisions for you. Life was so much simpler when we were younger and our parents made all the important decisions for us. Then, if anything messed up it was always someone else’s fault and responsibility! Good luck in your search for those answers. I wish you all the wisdom and clarity you need. Xx

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