IVF#1 Follow Up.

Today was the day I’ve been waiting for since our official test day (OTD), our follow up appointment with a consultant. We got our BFN 1 month and 5 days ago. I had just begun to feel “normal” and like I was getting back into our usual routine in our new home when bam, two appointments at the IVF clinic in one week. Counselling and follow up. Two big reminders of what we have been through. The joys of being a couple trying to conceive when you have fertility issues! Continue reading

Consoling The Soul.

Today I had my first counselling session at my clinic. I said yes to counselling on the day I rang my clinic to tell them the result of my OTD was a negative. At this point I was fighting back tears and thinking I needed all the help I could get to get through. This was just over a month ago now and I thought I was ok about things but decided to go to the appointment anyway. I have seen many people about mental health & emotional issues over the years. I saw a counsellor in high school about being bullied and my self harm. I saw a counsellor when I was depressed & had to leave university for the second time due to my Epilepsy. I went to cognitive behaviour therapy to try to help with my newly diagnosed anxiety disorder after I had to leave work due to my Epilepsy two years ago. I had found none of them helpful so wasn’t really sure what to expect from today’s appointment. Continue reading

Monica.

So no one told you life was gonna be this way? Clap clap clap clap clap. Yeah they didn’t, but then again they probably didn’t know. Who is/are they anyway? Moving on. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t recognise the Friends theme song. Or indeed the characters names. Rachel, Monica, Pheobe, Joey, Chandler and Ross. Today I’m blogging about Monica. Specifically Monica during the time her and Chandler are trying for a baby.  Continue reading

IVF Diet 2.0

I am a 6ft woman with PCOS and Epilepsy. These two things can make weightloss hard but here I am again starting the whole process again. IVF diet take two, IVF Diet 2.0 if you will! After my last post I felt a little down. The thought of being back on a diet after having a month off was daunting. I mean it’s not like it’s been a month of celebrations or lovely things, it’s been a month full of other stressful things! I’ll touch upon what our next step is in regards to our IVF and FET (frozen embryo transfer) in another blog. For now just know that I have 21 weeks to reach the goal of IVF Diet 2.0. So if you’re still reading this then prepare for my vital statistics. Continue reading

Fat and Vulnerable.

I want to like my body. Yet I don’t. I want to be happy with myself even for just a day. Yet I’ve never had the pleasure. I’m bringing the truth about being eternally fat today. I’m being vulnerable. Fat and vulnerable to be precise. I don’t remember an age when I didn’t feel bigger than everyone else. Not just because of my height but also because of my weight. Here goes my story. Continue reading

PMA

I haven’t update this blog in over a week, life got in the way of writing, more specifically moving house got in the way of writing. Then I had to wait until our internet got installed before uploading this post and well here we are. The move all went fairly smoothly and we are now onto the fun bit of unpacking all our belongings. Would be easier if we had wardrobes and more shelving units but those will come in time! I love our new home. We’ve been here for a week now and it already feels more like home than our old house of two years ever did! Bonus that the landlord is easier to deal with too! Anyway enough of my house gushing, I’ll move on to what this post is actually about now. PMA aka positive mental attitude. Continue reading