So yesterday I blogged about being the luckiest unlucky person in the world. It lead to a big conversation with my husband about what I wanted from life and how at the moment I felt I was simply existing not living. I have some craft projects to do for my friend’s wedding next year,which are great distractions but I’m not actually able to start them yet as I’m waiting on supplies. I felt myself admitting that with what happened recently regarding me working I wasn’t sure of my path. We’re these signs that in fact working isn’t the path for me? Every job I’ve had hasn’t ended well. Not badly, just not great thanks to my uncontrollable degenerative Epilepsy. Maybe I’m just not meant to work? Society as a whole makes those who aren’t able to work feel eternally bad for this, like we aren’t fulfilling a purpose. We are bombarded of images telling us how we should look, feel and behave. Be skinny and work so you can buy all this stuff. That’s what is expected of us. Not working can be lonely. The majority of people do work so you don’t get to see anyone and even if you do money is often a problem.I admit I wanted that job because I feel like it would have given me more purpose and I wanted to go on a belated honeymoon. Without me working there is no way we will ever be able to go on holiday. No groupon late deals for us, we’re comfortable but not that much!
Then it twigged in my head. I wanted purpose. Continue reading