It’s hard to describe that feeling of joy of seeing a period when you’re waiting to start an IVF cycle. To the outside it seems ridiculous. You’re trying to conceive yet you’re excited your period has come? How does that make sense? Period means empty womb normally doesn’t it? Well, yes, oh fertile one you are correct. However, when you’re waiting to start fertility treatment all you want is that period. That period means you can get on with undergoing the medical help you need for that so longed for baby. That period likes to toy with you though. You can have regular periods but as soon as you want it to come, it’s nowhere to be seen.
I blogged the other day about my missing/late period. Then came Friday. I had spotting. The spotting of IVF hope. I got very excited.
Aside from a few cramps that is all Friday brought with it though. Saturday arrived. I woke up and went to the toilet whereby there was nothing. No spotting at all. I got very angry.
I realise this tweet says I still had spotting but it turned out to be the pattern of my underwear, yes I really am that deep into the emotional IVF crazy. I snapped at my husband to pack his bag ready for our day out and night away which we were leaving for soon. I then walked the dog to my mother-in-law’s house (she was having him for us whilst we were away) sulking a little more with each step. Upon my return I went to the toilet. My pretty yet comfy knickers were bright red with blood. I got temporarily annoyed.
In my defence they were nice knickers! Once I’d sorted myself and hastily packed tampons into my overnight bag I got around to ringing my clinic. After being on hold for about 10minutes I got through to the nursing staff. (I just need to add that I fully understand the wait, my clinic only do collections and transfers at the weekend, so there is minimal staff working.) I explained to the nurse that my period had just arrived and I was ringing to book in for my medicated frozen embryo transfer cycle (FET cycle). The nurse congratulated me. I still find it oddly nice to be complimented on my period. In my head I feel like I should give a speech. Congratulations on your period Mrs C! Yes, well, thank you I grew the womb lining and shed it myself, but you’re right I do deserve recognition for this! I digress. The nurse then asked if I had all my drugs yet. I told her I hadn’t, to which she replied with “so you’ve not even had your drugs appointment?!” Obviously I got a bit panicked at this point. Flustered I reeled off about phoning last month to ask about protocol and was simply told to ring on CD1 (cycle day 1, ie first day of your period) to get booked in. Realising I was getting concerned the nurse said all was fine, that someone would ring me Monday or Tuesday when they had the full staff in to sort out my drugs appointment/treatment plan and that I didn’t need to worry as the FET can still go ahead with this period. Wave of relief and excitement washed over me as I repeatedly thanked the nurse until she eventually told me to go enjoy the rest of my weekend before putting down the phone. I told my husband everything including how the nurse was surprised I hadn’t had drug delivery yet, to which he piped up that he had been thinking that was odd too as with IVF 1 we had the drugs way before my period! Helpful, no?
We didn’t have time to let the reality sink in before we hurriedly had to pick up our bags to get to the train station ready for our hour train ride to our ultra minibreak destination. Chester, just in case you were wondering. I’m writing this blog on my iPhone after a lovely whirlwind day of sightseeing and hotel lounging then a boozy night out with friends. I’ll admit I’m writing this now mainly to kill time as we wait for my mother-in-law to rescue us from Chester due to unforeseen train travel issues! Still, at least it’s fresh in my head this way, maybe, I mean I did indulge in the Long Island Ice Teas and Tequila Sunrises last night so it may not be totally fresh. Ahem.
Anyway, if you’re looking for a nice summary of this post look no further. Not that you have much choice, this is the last paragraph. My period came and we’re waiting on call from clinic to get booked in. Our FET is underway! Kinda. We’re both excited and are feeling pretty good about our chances. We have decided we’re not really going to tell too many “real life” people because some were not quite as positive as I needed during IVF 1’s two week wait and so we’re being selfish. Positively selfish. Is that a thing? Whatever, I’m on my way to having my frostie baby back with me and not frozen in a straw I’ll make up all the feelings I like!
Blog/Tweet soon @HopeEpiMum