BFP and Early Weight Worries.

Once again this is a backdated blog, written before we announced our BFP. These feelings are still relevant though. I am not ungrateful but I want to show that wherever you are in your journey things are hard.

It’s 12:47 on Tuesday 12th January, my 7 week scan is just three days away. I saw my GP about 10 days ago to confirm my pregnancy and was advised to ring for an appointment with a midwife the first week of February. I haven’t had my 7 week scan and I haven’t had my booking-in appointment with a midwife yet, however I’ve already been talked to about gestational diabetes. I am well aware that during/after our first cycle of treatment back in June/July 2015 I put about 2st of the 4st I lost back on. I lost about 7lbs of this before starting our FET cycle in November 2015. I have just weighed myself and it confirmed what I already knew. I have put on the other 2st through this medicated FET. I am now the same weight I was before we got our IVF referral. This scares me. Im also really mad at myself which is silly really because I lost that weight so we could have a chance at having a baby, I achieved that dream, I’m having our baby. I should feel happy I made a difference but instead all I can focus on is how I’m back to being a uk size 20. I now have a BMI of 38.5 which means I am once again classed as obese. There is a common theme within all pregnancy books, blogs etc that I have read. That is that obese mothers are high risk and you have to be careful not to put on too much weight. For a BMI over 30 the suggested amount is 11-20lbs over the whole pregnancy! That amount is the suggested amount to gain by the end of pregnancy (ie approximately 2 to 3lbs per month in your second and third trimesters) for those with a BMI of 25-30.

At my appointment with my GP, she mentioned in passing that my high BMI, IVF & Epilepsy means I am basically classed as a high risk pregnancy under three headings. That’s really scary. I worked so hard to lose this weight & with all the IVF medications it’s come back. Not only that but I’m being told my weight puts me & my baby at risk. I saw that number on the scale and I cried. I cried and I cried. I worked so hard for this baby and yet here I am feeling like I have failed them. I’m currently only 6weeks 4days pregnant. I’m not supposed to be worried about gestational diabetes or pre-eclampsia. I’m not supposed to feel like I’m failing my baby ever, let alone in the first few weeks of pregnancy. I’m supposed to be filled with happiness. Instead here I am feeling awful about myself. I’m craving vegetables & salads. I’m limiting my intake of fizzy drinks, caffeine and beige food as much as I can. I’m trying to make sure I walk at least a little each day to get a bit of exercise, even if it’s just around the house. I want the best for my baby, now I’m worried I’m not the best for my baby.

Blog/Tweet soon @HopeEpiMum x

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2 thoughts on “BFP and Early Weight Worries.

  1. lauracharlie1988 says:

    Don’t worry. I know we’ve had this on versatile already but you know I’ve been there too with regards to BMI. You’re not failing your baby. You’re doing awesome. Best thing is in the UK they won’t weigh you except for booking in and some hospitals do before the 12w scan. Don’t worry. As long as you’re not stuffing your face with cakes and sweets all day long, you’re doing great. Yes, you have a slightly higher risk of GD, pre eclampsia and hypertension, but that doesn’t mean you’ll get them. And if you do, who knows if it’s because of your BMI? Plenty of folk with “normal” BMI get those things too.
    Chin up. You are doing awesome and your baby is lucky to have you as a mummy xx

    • HopeEpiMum says:

      Thanks for the lovely encouraging words Hun, I do appreciate it. I’ve always had normal blood pressure so in theory that should be on my side. I guess I can’t be failing my baby if I’m worried I’m doing the best for them, it’s just another thing I need to put in the “stop worrying about this” pile. Just goes to show wherever you are in baby journey, there is always things that plague your thoughts! xx

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