Nerves.

Once again I’ve neglected my blog. I’ve promised myself that I’ll try to blog at least once a week from now on, hopefully I can stick to it!

Today I am three days away from our Nuchal Dating (12 week) scan. I’ll be 13weeks and 6days at that point which means we should definitely hear Boba’s heartbeat and see them really clearly. Which is good because in all honesty I’ve had trouble deciphering our previous scans! This time last week I was really excited about our scan and yet now I’m nervous. If we hadn’t of had that emergency EPU Scan it would be just under seven weeks since our last scan. That’s a long time when baby is so small because you have no way of knowing if they’re OK. You have no movements (that you can feel) to monitor and no real bump (in my case) for you or others to see. You’ve just got to have faith that everything is as it should be. I know the wait between scans is never easy however pregnant you are, add in the fact that Boba is the result of IVF and you can see why I’m nervous. With IVF you get so much monitoring and it’s hard to move away from that. Even the midwife at our Booking In appointment expressed how precious and exciting  IVF pregnancies are.

I’m nervous that everything isn’t as it should be and I don’t want to feel like that. I don’t know if this is just normal level of feelings or if it’s my anxiety disorder rearing it’s head. My positive thinking isn’t quite cutting it at the moment. I want to enjoy my pregnancy. I had a Tonic Clonic seizure last week and I guess that’s added another aspect of anxiety. I know that seizures don’t affect babies in the womb but still there is a niggle. What if we get to our scan and Boba is measuring even more behind. At our 7week scan Boba measured one day behind, then at the EPU scan Boba measured five days behind, is this a trend? I know there is a leeway of 3-4days either way but it’s hard not to think about these things. Would my seizure have affected growth? Is everything ok? I hope so. These nerves and anxiety is really getting to me. The next three days need to pass by quickly.

Tweet/Blog Soon @HopeEpiMum x

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2 thoughts on “Nerves.

  1. L and D says:

    I know exactly how you feel, I was exactly the same. It’s terrifying not knowing. I then totally lost the plot about 5 mins into our 12 week scan, it wasn’t until that moment that I really believed it was real, I’m going for my 20 week scan in about 2 hours, think I’m going to be crazy sobbing laughing mess again, I’m still a bit nervous but feeling baby move def helps, started feeling them about 17-18 weeks but only really could tell it was def baby moving and not other things a week or so ago. Hope the next few days go quickly x

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