UK National Fertility Awareness Week.

Today marks the start of National  Fertility Awareness Week here in the UK. All this week I am sharing facts and personal stories on my Instagram (LottieHope) my Twitter account (@HopeEpiMum ) and my Facebook account. Here in the UK one in six couples struggle with fertility issues. This week is about raising awareness and helping get rid of some of that stigma/taboo that surrounds infertility. I stand proudly and wear my IVF badge with pride, this is part of me and I will not be silenced or ashamed of that. I will be blogging as much as I can this week, especially as it coincides with my starting week of our FET. Continue reading


FET#1 Waiting Period.

Story of my life. In fact I think the majority of woman going through IVF can identify with me on this. Your periods can be as regular as you like but as soon as you need it to turn up so you can start an IVF cycle or FET, nothing. Not a cramp or spot in sight. Well now that would be too easy wouldn’t it? Continue reading

Fat and Vulnerable.

I want to like my body. Yet I don’t. I want to be happy with myself even for just a day. Yet I’ve never had the pleasure. I’m bringing the truth about being eternally fat today. I’m being vulnerable. Fat and vulnerable to be precise. I don’t remember an age when I didn’t feel bigger than everyone else. Not just because of my height but also because of my weight. Here goes my story. Continue reading

IVF#1 Harvest Time.

Oh well have I got a lot to blog about! I’m feeling so happy and extremely lucky so apologies in advance for any gushing! Today was the day of our egg collection. We had to be at the clinic for 7:30am with a view to have the collection procedure at 8:30am. My hubby was feeling a bit nervous about this early start as not enough sleep and getting up too early is one of my Epilepsy seizure triggers, it turns out there was no need to worry! Continue reading

IVF#1 Scan Time: The Follicles Awaken.

So as I quickly blogged about this morning it is the day of my second scan. I have had my date with the internal ultrasound wand. It’s our second date within a week and we have a third on Friday, I think this means we’re going steady! Anyway I’m using humour to divert the point of this blog, and now I’m breaking the fourth wall. Does a blog even have a fourth wall? That’s a question for another day, back to blogging about my follicles! Continue reading

IVF#1: Latest Member of IVF Drugs Gang.

It is official I am the lastest member of IVF drugs club! As I write this we have just got in from our drugs appointment with a nurse at our clinic. I have been having a bad week battling my depression and anxiety disorder, throw in a Tonic Clonic seizure yesterday and as you can probably guess I wasn’t feeling so great about this appointment! First off we had all our medication delivered on Wednesday. So prepare yourself for a gratuitous IVF medication picture:

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Before all this started I used to dream. I dreamt whilst I was still working. Before my Epilepsy interfered and I could still earn a living. Before we had to leave our first home together. Before we were engaged. Before we started trying for a baby. Before we were both diagnosed with fertility issues. I dreamt. Continue reading

Weight Obsession & PCOS Lies?

I cannot remember a time when doctors haven’t told me to lose weight. Even as a child when I first got diagnosed with Epilepsy no matter what medication I was on a doctor was worried about weight gain as a side effect. It seemed even then I was labelled as overweight and so that is how I saw myself. I resigned myself to the fact that I was always going to stick out as I was/am tall and fat. I tried and failed at dieting only ever losing a stone at the most which didn’t really make much of a difference. I gave up trying to lose weight, ignoring comments from doctors whenever I had a checkup. Losing weight would supposedly help with my seizure frequency, pfft as if. Losing weight would help with my depression, yeah ok. Losing weight would help with my confidence issues, whatever that is so superficial. Then we started trying for a baby. Continue reading

Sharing Challenge.

People don’t usually acknowledge that they are trying to have a baby until they announce they are 12 weeks gone and provide an ultrasound scan picture for you to coo over. I think this makes admitting/acknowledging you are having difficulty trying to conceive harder. How much do you tell people? Have you actually told people? Are you planning on telling people? Questions. Pressures. Continue reading

Updated: Best Letter of 2015 So Far!

I haven’t blogged since the first day of spring, the day we got the go ahead for our referral to a local IVF clinic. It’s been a lovely few weeks filled with positivity and happiness. I’ve been doing so well with my IVF Diet last few weeks too, well aside this past week with it being Easter Bank holiday and having a friend to stay but that’s another story! We got an exciting development today that I wanted to share. Continue reading