Making My Own Luck.

So yesterday I blogged about being the luckiest unlucky person in the world. It lead to a big conversation with my husband about what I wanted from life and how at the moment I felt I was simply existing not living. I have some craft projects to do for my friend’s wedding next year,which are great distractions but I’m not actually able to start them yet as I’m waiting on supplies. I felt myself admitting that with what happened recently regarding me working I wasn’t sure of my path. We’re these signs that in fact working isn’t the path for me? Every job I’ve had hasn’t ended well. Not badly, just not great thanks to my uncontrollable degenerative Epilepsy. Maybe I’m just not meant to work? Society as a whole makes those who aren’t able to work feel eternally bad for this, like we aren’t fulfilling a purpose. We are bombarded of images telling us how we should look, feel and behave. Be skinny and work so you can buy all this stuff. That’s what is expected of us. Not working can be lonely. The majority of people do work so you don’t get to see anyone and even if you do money is often a problem.I admit I wanted that job because I feel like it would have given me more purpose and I wanted to go on a belated honeymoon. Without me working there is no way we will ever be able to go on holiday. No groupon late deals for us, we’re comfortable but not that much!

Then it twigged in my head. I wanted purpose. Continue reading

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Spirit Baby

This blog post is so beautiful I had to share, the concept of spirit babies has helped me through this past week.

Mommyfriend

                                            
                                            [Image:naptimecards.com]

 

I haven’t taken to my blog to write about my personal experience with pregnancy loss nearly 4 years ago, perhaps in time I will share my story.  A dear friend sent me the following excerpt from Part IV of “BabyCatcher: Chronicles of a Modern Midwife” by Peggy Vincent when I needed it most.  This story brought me tremendous comfort and encouragement on my journey toward emotional healing and still touches me to this day. 

So for all my dear friends who have suffered a loss, this is for you.

Spirit Baby” Part IV of BabyCatcher: Chronicles of a Modern Midwife  by Peggy Vincent

Colin, my twelve-year-old son, discovered me late one rainy afternoon sitting at the kitchen table, a damp Kleenex crumpled in my left hand, wiping my eyes as I tried to compose myself for his sake. It was the third week of…

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The “After” Myth

I found this so inspirational. too much emphasis is placed on being visible beauty and although I’ve never felt comfortable in my skin I never really did anything about it until we were told I had to lose weight for IVF.
I’m now thinner than I have been in years and so close to being the right weight to start our first IVF cycle.
I’m going to use this to remind me that no matter how much I lose what I look like doesn’t mean anything, it’s my personality and outlook that matter. I’m enjoying being thinner but what I’m really proud of is that I found myself along the way. I remembered who I was and what I enjoy!

Can Anybody Hear Me?

DURING

After.

It’s here.

In my first post, Before, 3 years ago, I said “I’m not to After yet, but I’m closer to After than to Before.”

I now weigh 117 – 120 pounds (depending on the day), and standing at 5-foot 6-inches, that measurement means that After is very, very here. But, before you congratulate me, dear readers…if I have any…and dear friends and family who I know follow this blog… I have to come clean with you: I don’t feel like I’m at After. I’m terrified of being at After. And, I don’t like that After is here.

After5 2

The tagline of my blog is “uncovering myself one pound at a time.” For most of this blog, I’ve spoken strongly about how my relationship with food and myself was what caused my weight struggles. I stand by that. The thing is, the symptoms have resolved faster than I’ve been able to…

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